Dani, right, works with a child in the Project HOPE children's program at Sheffield Place.
Sheffield Place benefited from the services on intern, Danyel Crispin this summer. Dani is a student at KU and interned full-time at Sheffield Place through the faith-based internship program adminstered by Bishop Sullivan Center. In the following essay written as a reflection paper for the internship program, Dani explores the insight she gained into the nexus of theory and practice in trauma recovery. Thank you, Dani, for your hard work and dedication to the children and families at Sheffield Place.
Hurt People, Hurt People
Every evening at Sheffield Place, the staff members teach the kids a lesson on bullying. This past week, the kids have focused on the question, “Why do bullies bully?” The responses and discussion we have had on this question have been so interesting, and I have continued to ponder this question in relation to counseling and healing (what I am considering going into) throughout the week. The main answer to this question can be summed up in the phrase “Hurt people, hurt people.” With the kids, we talked about the fact that bullies do not just bully for fun; instead, they bully for a sense of control because they feel powerless in another aspect of their lives. Speaking about this topic to a group of children who know very well what it means to feel powerless has a lot of weight, it got me thinking about ways in which I can help others to regain a sense of security in order to prevent abusive and bullying relationships from forming.
One of the biggest reasons why I was
so excited to be at Sheffield Place this summer is because of their emphasis on
recovery and rehabilitation. I get to witness some of the most beautiful
stories of hope and transformation occur in the lives of women and their
children right before my eyes. Whether in movies, on the news, or in real life,
I love a good transformation story. The process of healing and recovery is what
drew me into being interested in psychology and counseling. I think part of why
I am so fascinated by stories of restoration is because it is a reflection of
the Paschal Mystery we are all called to enter into.
Sr. Miriam James Heidland, a Catholic speaker, frequently
says that “Suffering that is not transformed will be transmitted,” in speaking
about the necessity of encountering Christ’s healing touch. In taking the
question of “Why do bullies bully?” one step deeper, I can ask myself “Where I
am hurting, and how is that transmitting into my relationships with others?” In
examining these places of woundedness, I can start to recognize where I need to
seek healing and transformation. Healing can take place in all sorts of
environments where loving community and truth are present, including churches,
gyms, therapy offices, schools, and shelters like Sheffield Place. I believe
that total restoration, the kind of wholeness that God is calling us to, takes
all of these facets of healing because we are physical, psychological,
emotional, intellectual, and spiritual beings.
Any person that we may encounter as impatient, rude,
judgmental, etc. is reflecting their pain which has not yet been healed.
Keeping this in mind, and looking at someone in this way--as a person with a
story, not an obstacle to our happiness--can totally change the way we live.
This summer has been an amazing opportunity for me to receive the women and children
at my internship as persons with stories who have been affected by their wounds
and trauma. Seeing them this way has allowed me to be more understanding and
give them extra grace because I only see them as a person who is hurting. It
has also given me the opportunity to look inward, recognize my own wounds, and
be more merciful with myself, as well.
